Girl with a Blue Daisy Earring

I met my husband at a time I wasn't interested in love. In fact I was kind of over the whole thing. I was 22, five months away from college graduation and trying to figure out how to oust that nice Maria lady from Sesame Street to make way for me, 'cause hers, is my dream job. Surely the Street needed a young, light-skinned, non-Spanish speaking Latina with a love of words, letters and Cookie Monster. Surely.

As it often does, when I start making plans, life, the universe and or God reminds me that I'm only this-much in control. So meeting Ben surprised me. Not being a complete idiot, I knew a good thing when I saw it. So I altered my train of thought and decided to hang out with the quiet, handsome angler and see what happened.

Flash forward four years. We're married. Eight years and our daughter is born.

Shortly after her birth and I can't remember the exact timing, I decided it was time to do what most girls in my family do and have her ears pierced. I don't know if it's a cultural thing. I do know mine were pierced when I was about a year old and most my cousins did the same.

For those of you in the Ben know, you know how incredibly mellow and accommodating he is. So when I brought up said ears piercing, for the first time in our entire relationship he said incredulously, "Absolutely not! Not until she's at least 13."

Wow. That sounded like an order.

I was stunned. If I were to channel Yoda, I believe my reactive phrase would go something like: Floored, I am.

So speechless (a rarity for me) and with eyebrows raised, I gave some thought to all the things he is and isn't. Ben is not a man who speaks in absolutes with regularity and neither of us committed to an old-school traditional Cleaveresque marriage where the guy calls the shots and the woman obeys. He is also not one to waste words, give undue praise or feed egos. When he says something he means it, wholeheartedly. He is also kind, thoughtful, loving, an amazing Dad and often non-traditional. With all this in mind, I chose to respect his feelings and let it go and said, "Okay."

We stayed this course for six years. If Charlotte asked about getting her ears pierced, my answer was always the same, "Your Dad said, 'not until your 13.'" Then one day about six months ago his answered changed and surprised us all: "If Charlotte wants to get her ears pierced, it's fine with me and totally up to you guys."

We explained to her she could but it would hurt, only for a short time, kinda like a shot. She decided she wasn't ready. Fine by Dad.

Last week she changed her mind and decided it was time. (My parents were in town visiting.) She came up to me and said, "I decided to be brave and get my ears pierced the day before Grandma Lee goes home." When the girl makes up her mind she's very specific. Much like someone else I know. Mr. "Absolutely not until she's 13."

The big event brought us to Claire's Boutique where three girls aged 21 and under, took on the task. One of the girls was fantastic, the others, insecure like all young women that age, repeatedly and over zealously told her how brave she was. I don't know why people do that to kids, they can always smell out insincerity. Always.

Charlotte picked out her earrings and sat waiting patiently and listening to the girls gush. As I watched her sit there, I wondered for the first time, what were we doing? She's only seven after all and I'm letting someone ram metal through her skin so she can what...? Before I could even finish the thought, I said, "Are you sure?" Her answer, "Yes." 1-2-3, it was done.

And then, my daughter looked at me, her huge brown eyes teary and broke down immediately. Not because it hurt, because of the anticipation. Six years of waiting and I believe it was the last 20 minutes that put her over the edge. Funny, though after about 30 seconds the nice girl asked her if she would like to see her new earrings. She brightened right up and looked at her new adornments with such pride. Pride for doing something she wanted to, when she wanted to, for facing her fears and for being a big enough girl to wear genuine blue CZ daisy starter earrings, even if a little pain came first. But really, what female on earth doesn't know a little heartbreak before a jewelry reward?